Dumb jokes - still a good read :)

"I read in the paper about a man who was 'arrested for killing his girlfriend'. This makes no sense because it seems to me that at the moment you decide to kill someone, you've effectively broken off the relationship. Therefore at the moment you kill them, she is no longer your girlfriend." -George Carlin

"I like meeting girls from the Internet. I'm dating this chick I met on Google Earth." -Judah Friedlander

"If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers! " -Homer Simpson