Do you keep falling asleep in business meetings and seminars?
And what about those long and boring conference calls?
There is now a way to change all of that.
It's called Bullshit(Boardroom) Bingo.
Here's how it works:
1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare your Bullshit Bingo card by drawing a square – 5 inches x 5 inches is a good size - and dividing it into columns and rows - five across and five down. This will give you 25 x one inch blocks.
2. Write one of the following words/phrases in EACH block, in any sequence you like:
synergy, strategic fit, core competencies, best practice, bottom line, revisit, take that offline, 24/7, out of the loop, benchmark, value added, proactive, win/win, think outside the box, fast track, result-driven, empower (or empowerment), knowledge base, at the end of the day, touch base, mindset, client focus(ed), ballpark, game plan, leverage, and paradigm.
3. Cross out the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
4. When you get five blocks in a row, horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout BULLSHIT!
--
roflmao !
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Who said English is easy?
Fill in the following blank with "Yes" or "No"
a) ______ , I don't have a BRAIN .
Who said English is easy ?
a) ______ , I don't have a BRAIN .
Who said English is easy ?
Garage door (a.k.a "The Fly")
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tires.'
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tires.'
Some funny ones...
Failure is not when ur girlfriend leaves you... It's only when u leave her a virgin.
Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: When both r pregnant!
Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!
The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm when mating. Only 10% enters the female.........And you always wondered why the sea tasted salty?!
Why is it that a girl looks down when u say I love u?
To see if u really mean it!
Why is sex similar to shaving?
Well, because no matter how well u do it today, tomorrow u have to do it again.
Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.
--
With this post, this blog has been updated to 18+ only, since there's quite some adult content involved in the jokes ... its been pending for some time now !
Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: When both r pregnant!
Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!
The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm when mating. Only 10% enters the female.........And you always wondered why the sea tasted salty?!
Why is it that a girl looks down when u say I love u?
To see if u really mean it!
Why is sex similar to shaving?
Well, because no matter how well u do it today, tomorrow u have to do it again.
Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.
--
With this post, this blog has been updated to 18+ only, since there's quite some adult content involved in the jokes ... its been pending for some time now !
Friendly Beer
A guy, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house, was contemplating how the future would be after he had divorced his wife, lost his children and lost his job.
He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it.
He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the concrete wall swearing,
"You are the reason I don't have a wife",
second bottle, "You are the reason I don't have my children",
third bottle "You are the reason I lost my job".
He notices the fourth bottle is sealed and still full of beer. He
takes the bottle, puts it aside and says,
"Stand aside my dear friend; I know you were not involved"
He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it.
He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the concrete wall swearing,
"You are the reason I don't have a wife",
second bottle, "You are the reason I don't have my children",
third bottle "You are the reason I lost my job".
He notices the fourth bottle is sealed and still full of beer. He
takes the bottle, puts it aside and says,
"Stand aside my dear friend; I know you were not involved"
A perfect scam
The Police have been unable to recommend a prosecution for the following scam:
A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to supply imported hard core pornographic videos. As their prices seem reasonable, People place orders and make payments via check.
After several weeks, the company writes back explaining that under the present law they are unable to supply the materials and do not wish to be prosecuted. So they return their customers' money in the form of a company check.
However, due to the name of the company, few People will not present these checks to their banks.
The name of the company: "The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company"
--
LMAO! ... Werd.
A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to supply imported hard core pornographic videos. As their prices seem reasonable, People place orders and make payments via check.
After several weeks, the company writes back explaining that under the present law they are unable to supply the materials and do not wish to be prosecuted. So they return their customers' money in the form of a company check.
However, due to the name of the company, few People will not present these checks to their banks.
The name of the company: "The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company"
--
LMAO! ... Werd.
Prison is no joke !
The inmates settle down for their afternoon lunch one day when suddenly, a man stands up, yells "#46!!" and the room lights up in laughter.
Another moment later another inmate stands, screams, "#65!!!" and again was met by wild hoots & laughter.
One of the new convicts is confused by this and asks the neighboring inmate what #46 is. The seasoned veteran explains that they have heard all the jokes so many times - they have given them numbers and everyone knows just which joke it is.
This amused the new inmate and he asked if it would be alright to give it a try. The elder inmate finally agrees to tell him one of the jokes corresponding with the right number.
The fresh inmate, excited to tell the joke, stands and screams, "#77!!" - and he was met with a cold silence. No laughter, no cheering, just blank looks and the quiet.
He sits back down, looks at the old timer and asks what he could have done wrong?
The elder shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders and simple states, "Some can tell 'em - some can't!"
Another moment later another inmate stands, screams, "#65!!!" and again was met by wild hoots & laughter.
One of the new convicts is confused by this and asks the neighboring inmate what #46 is. The seasoned veteran explains that they have heard all the jokes so many times - they have given them numbers and everyone knows just which joke it is.
This amused the new inmate and he asked if it would be alright to give it a try. The elder inmate finally agrees to tell him one of the jokes corresponding with the right number.
The fresh inmate, excited to tell the joke, stands and screams, "#77!!" - and he was met with a cold silence. No laughter, no cheering, just blank looks and the quiet.
He sits back down, looks at the old timer and asks what he could have done wrong?
The elder shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders and simple states, "Some can tell 'em - some can't!"
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