Things You'd Like To Say At Work, But Can't

# I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
# How about never? Is never good for you?
# I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
# I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
# I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
# I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
# I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
# It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
# Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
# I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
# I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
# I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
# Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
# The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
# Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
# I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
# Do I look like a people person?
# This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
# I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
# Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
# If I throw a stick, will you leave?
# Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
# I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
# Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
# Chaos, panic, and disorder -- my work here is done.

Cheers :)
Kish