Lil Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny's father said, "let me see your report card."
Johnny replied, "I don't have it."
"Why not?" His father asked.
"My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," said his mom, "of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"

Little johnny was in class one day and the teacher asked "Which part of the body goes to heaven first?" Little johnny was raising his hand but the teacher called on clyde. clyde said "I think its the heart." Little Johnny was still raising his hand but the teacher wouldn't call on him so she instead called on carl. carl said "I think its the brain." Little Johnny was still raising his hand and finally the teacher decided that he couldn't twist this into a bad thing. she called on little Johnny and he said "I think its the feet because I walked past my parents room and my mom had her feet pointing towards the ceiling and she said 'Oh God Im COMING!!"

Little Johnny goes to school one day and the teacher has a brown paper bag
She reaches her hand in it and says it's round, it's got a stem, and it's got a leaf.
Little Johnny raises his hand and says it's an apple, it's an apple.
Then he says now let me give you one.
He reaches his hand in his pocket and says it's round, it's hard , and it's got a head.
The teacher says Ohh Johnny that's grose.
Little Johnny says no it's a quater but I like the way you're thinking.

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," Little Johnny replies, "I don't have to, my mom is a good cook!"

The pastor was talking to a group of young children about being good and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?"
"Heaven!" Suzy cried out.
"And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the preacher.
"Six feet under!", yelled Little Johnny.